D.I.Y.

The man in the baseball cap walked through the hardware section of Home Depot.

Something was wrong. He had to fix it when he got home. It was a little stuffy in there; might feel good to let some air in. He thought for awhile. The hacksaw would probably take too long, and it would be a weird angle for the phillips head screwdriver. He had tried the hammer, but couldn’t get it to work, even with the four inch hot-dip galvanized nails he’d bought yesterday.

It was an old place. Sold construction, over forty years old. The fuck if he knew what it was really made of. His eyes wandered over to the power tool section. That might do the trick. He just wanted to fix it up a bit. The ventilation wasn’t right.

After some inspection, the man purchased a DeWalt 14.4 volt electric drill, with a 7 piece set of rapid load masonry bits. 3000 rpm, 98.7 foot-pounds of torque, two batteries and a charger. He paid in cash, thanked the casher, and drove home. As the clock hit 1:47, he figured he’d give it a go. He didn’t know if the batteries were fully charged or not, but figured a few minutes of juice would be enough. Besides, he was getting a headache, and he wanted to get this done before the kids came home.

The man sat down at the dinner table and loaded the drill with a battery and a 17/64” masonry bit. He wasn’t sure what size to use, so he guessed he could start low and size up. But it didn’t really matter, anyway. After removing the baseball cap, the man pressed the electric drill to the left side of his head and squeezed the trigger. The drill made a loud grinding sound as the bit struggled to pierce his skull.

Two, three minutes later it was done. The man pulled the drill from his skull. Little flecks of bone were stuck to the bit. It felt like a slight wind was blowing through his head. He sat there for a moment, smiling.

It felt good to let some air in. But now it was time to take care of that leak.